Skip to content

Holiday Sale Is Live — 20% Off the Whole Damn Store.

Sleigh $75+ and Shipping’s On Us

  • The Drip Drawer
    • The Two-Legged Collection
      • Humans Only Tees (No Fur Required)
    • Purrfectly Matched Tees
    • Paw-some Partners Tees
    • Seasonal Sass Squad
      • Hissmas Spirit Tees
      • Howl-Day Squad Tees
      • Festive AF Hoodies
  • About Us
Log in
  • Instagram

Witty AF Tees

  • The Drip Drawer
    • The Two-Legged Collection
      • Humans Only Tees (No Fur Required)
    • Purrfectly Matched Tees
    • Paw-some Partners Tees
    • Seasonal Sass Squad
      • Hissmas Spirit Tees
      • Howl-Day Squad Tees
      • Festive AF Hoodies
  • About Us
Log in Cart

Item added to your cart

View cart

Holiday Drip, Zero Cheer Required

Matching holiday tees for sarcastic humans and their judgmental pets.

Fetch 20% Off

Too Cool for Tinsel.

Unwrap 20% Off

Merry But Make It Witty.

Buy Now, It’s 20% Off

Holiday Cheer with a Side of Sarcasm

Naughty Gets 20% Off

Merry AF — Matching Optional.

20% Off? Duh.

Cheer Is Optional. Matching Is Not.

  • Ew, People – Tee for the Holiday Introvert

    Ew, People – Tee for the Holiday Introvert

    Ew, People – Tee for the Holiday Introvert

    Regular price From $35.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $35.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Ew, People – Tee for the Feline Grinch

    Ew, People – Tee for the Feline Grinch

    Ew, People – Tee for the Feline Grinch

    Regular price $28.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $28.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Ew, People – Tee for the Jingle Bell Grump

    Ew, People – Tee for the Jingle Bell Grump

    Ew, People – Tee for the Jingle Bell Grump

    Regular price $28.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $28.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Deck the Halls (and Not Your Family) – Tee for the Seasonally Unbothered

    Deck the Halls (and Not Your Family) – Tee for the Seasonally Unbothered

    Deck the Halls (and Not Your Family) – Tee for the Seasonally Unbothered

    Regular price From $35.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $35.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Wreck the Halls (and Blame the Cat) – Tee for the Guilty Pup

    Wreck the Halls (and Blame the Cat) – Tee for the Guilty Pup

    Wreck the Halls (and Blame the Cat) – Tee for the Guilty Pup

    Regular price $28.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $28.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Wreck the Halls (and Judge Your Family) – Tee for the Festive Feline

    Wreck the Halls (and Judge Your Family) – Tee for the Festive Feline

    Wreck the Halls (and Judge Your Family) – Tee for the Festive Feline

    Regular price $28.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $28.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Festively Exhausted

    Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Festively Exhausted

    Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Festively Exhausted

    Regular price From $35.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $35.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Holiday Supervisor

    Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Holiday Supervisor

    Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Holiday Supervisor

    Regular price $28.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $28.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Holiday Supervisor In Black

    Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Holiday Supervisor In Black

    Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Holiday Supervisor In Black

    Regular price $28.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $28.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Nap-Ready Pup

    Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Nap-Ready Pup

    Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Nap-Ready Pup

    Regular price $28.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $28.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Nap-Ready Pup In Black

    Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Nap-Ready Pup In Black

    Jingle Some of the Way – Tee for the Nap-Ready Pup In Black

    Regular price $28.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $28.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • As Merry As I Get – Tee for the Barely Festive Human

    As Merry As I Get – Tee for the Barely Festive Human

    As Merry As I Get – Tee for the Barely Festive Human

    Regular price From $35.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $35.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
1 / of 12
View all

Hoodies With More Personality Than People

  • Festive-ish – Hoodie for the Nap-Before-Presents Pup

    Festive-ish – Hoodie for the Nap-Before-Presents Pup

    Festive-ish – Hoodie for the Nap-Before-Presents Pup

    Regular price $34.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price $34.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Jolly-ish – Hoodie for the Ornament Assassin

    Jolly-ish – Hoodie for the Ornament Assassin

    Jolly-ish – Hoodie for the Ornament Assassin

    Regular price $34.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price $34.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Merry-ish – Hoodie for the Minimally Festive

    Merry-ish – Hoodie for the Minimally Festive

    Merry-ish – Hoodie for the Minimally Festive

    Regular price From $44.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $44.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • On Santa’s Sh*t List – Hoodie for the Furry Trouble-Maker

    On Santa’s Sh*t List – Hoodie for the Furry Trouble-Maker

    On Santa’s Sh*t List – Hoodie for the Furry Trouble-Maker

    Regular price $34.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price $34.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • On Santa’s Sh*t List – Hoodie for the Proudly Naughty

    On Santa’s Sh*t List – Hoodie for the Proudly Naughty

    On Santa’s Sh*t List – Hoodie for the Proudly Naughty

    Regular price From $44.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $44.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • As Jolly As I Get – Hoodie for the Lightly Tangled Feline

    As Jolly As I Get – Hoodie for the Lightly Tangled Feline

    As Jolly As I Get – Hoodie for the Lightly Tangled Feline

    Regular price $34.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price $34.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • As Festive As I Get – Hoodie for the Stocking-Stuffed Pup

    As Festive As I Get – Hoodie for the Stocking-Stuffed Pup

    As Festive As I Get – Hoodie for the Stocking-Stuffed Pup

    Regular price $34.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price $34.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • As Merry As I Get – Hoodie for the Barely Festive

    As Merry As I Get – Hoodie for the Barely Festive

    As Merry As I Get – Hoodie for the Barely Festive

    Regular price From $44.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $44.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Jingle Some of the Way – Hoodie for the Nap Enthusiast

    Jingle Some of the Way – Hoodie for the Nap Enthusiast

    Jingle Some of the Way – Hoodie for the Nap Enthusiast

    Regular price $34.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price $34.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Jingle Some of the Way – Hoodie for the Holiday Observer

    Jingle Some of the Way – Hoodie for the Holiday Observer

    Jingle Some of the Way – Hoodie for the Holiday Observer

    Regular price $34.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price $34.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Jingle Some of the Way – Hoodie for the Festively Exhausted

    Jingle Some of the Way – Hoodie for the Festively Exhausted

    Jingle Some of the Way – Hoodie for the Festively Exhausted

    Regular price From $44.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $44.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Morning Person (on Dec. 25th) – Hoodie for the Seasonally Cheerful

    Morning Person (on Dec. 25th) – Hoodie for the Seasonally Cheerful

    Morning Person (on Dec. 25th) – Hoodie for the Seasonally Cheerful

    Regular price From $44.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $44.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
1 / of 12
View all

Because Basic Tees Are Boring

  • Humans Only Tees (No Fur Required)

    Humans Only Tees (No Fur Required)

    No fur required, but matching your four-legged sidekick is always an option.

    Humans Only Tees (No Fur Required)

  • Purrfectly Matched Tees (Matching Cat Tees)

    Purrfectly Matched Tees (Matching Cat Tees)

    Matching tees for you and your cat — twice the style, twice...

    Purrfectly Matched Tees (Matching Cat Tees)

  • Paw-some Partners (Matching Small Dog Tees)

    Paw-some Partners (Matching Small Dog Tees)

    Tees that prove you and your pup were made to match.

    Paw-some Partners (Matching Small Dog Tees)

  • Festive AF Hoodies

    Festive AF Hoodies

    Cozy. Comfy. Festive AF. Perfect for twinning, lounging, or pretending to help...

    Festive AF Hoodies

1 / of 4
  • Contact Information
  • Privacy Policy
  • Refund Policy
  • Shipping Policy
  • Terms of Service

Emails You’ll Actually Want to Open

  • Instagram
Payment methods
  • American Express
  • Apple Pay
  • Diners Club
  • Discover
  • Google Pay
  • Mastercard
  • PayPal
  • Shop Pay
  • Visa
© 2025, Witty AF Tees
  • Choosing a selection results in a full page refresh.
  • Opens in a new window.